Dear Jaxon… – 3 Weeks Old

Dear Jaxon...

Dear Jaxon,

Today you are three weeks old. You’re often quite alert and you react to somethings. For example when you sneeze you still look a bit stunned that the sneeze came from you but I think you’re getting a bit more used to it.

On Wednesday your cord fell off and so we’ve been keeping an eye on your belly button healing up. By next week you might have had your first proper bath. Daddy needs to get the bathtub down from the loft and the remaining scab needs to heal and we’re good to go. Grandma said we could always bathe you in the sink or in the washing up bowl like Great Grandma did to me when I was little.

On Thursday, during the day we went to Castle Mound to see a performance of The Tempest, you were either feeding or asleep during the performance so I’m not sure how much you actually witnessed. You went to knitting group, you got to meet Judit and Lucy amongst other people but I had definitely lost you to Lucy for the evening. I think she couldn’t quite believe how little you were in comparison to her little boy Bert.

Open Air Theatre

On Friday, Daddy and I went to run a I errands in town. One of the errands took nearly two hours. You were really good and slept through nearly all of it. In the afternoon, we had a visit from our Social Worker who looks after us while we look after Our Sidekick. She had a cuddle too. We spent the rest of the day together as Chris and Our Sidekick had various adventures planned. You and I went for a walk to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We had tea in the garden and you napped for Britain!

Open Air Napping Part Two

You do this breathing thing where you take a deep breathe and hold it only to release it with a big sigh and keep breathing normally. You did it while Grandpa was watching you and he got a little freaked out that you’d stopped breathing. Don’t worry I did something similar when I was a baby. Grandpa came to check on me and I was asleep but my eyes were open and so wad my mouth. He had a little panic on!

Saturday was a little tense and I was struggling. Chris was at work and Our Sidekick went to contact with his Mum. You wouldn’t settle, you’d have half an hour of a nap then feed or need a change then sleep again which meant that from 4am I didn’t really get a break. I couldn’t sleep as by the time is dozed off you were awake again. In the end Grandma popped found to drop off some bits and she put you in your Moses basket and clearly whatever she did or because it was her not me you were out like a light. I got two hours sleep and following that I felt miles better! When Daddy for in from work you and him curled up on the floor, it was so cute but you were getting a bit worked up. Maybe we need to put a blanket down in future.

Just Chilling

On Sunday, all four of us went to church followed by the picnic. At church I sat at the back and so many people said hello to you and me on their way in. You were in the wrap so slept for ages.

All snuggled up in the Hug A Bub

Now where is that going?

Jaxon and I sat under the tree in the park

Each day since Monday we’ve been for walks. Usually to the supermarket but I’m hoping we can manage a bit further this week.

Good Morning!!

I love you little one.

Mummy

Currently…28th July

Currently...

Currently… image from rukristin

Watching:
R.I.P.D.
Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony (haven’t seen any actual events but England won their first Gold and Silver medals on Thursday)

Reading:
Right To The Edge: Sydney to Japan BY ANY MEANS by Charley Boorman

Listening:
Only the radio when in the car or the kitchen.

Making:
Working on Christmas presents and thank you cards at the moment. At some point I need to think about doing something with our new baby cards.

Lots of lovely cards

Feeling:
Loved and cared for. On Tuesday Chris went to the supermarket for me and when he got home he’d got me flowers too.

Gerberas

Planning:
Blog bits, adventures to see family (okay they are only up the road and walking distance but it’s still an adventure lol) and things to do during the school holidays.

Loving:
Chilling out and having snuggles with Jaxon. Especially the way he curls up on me and sleeps. His head somewhere near my right shoulder and his feet on my tummy.

Dear Jaxon… – Two Weeks Old

Dear Jaxon...

Dear Jaxon,

You’re now two weeks old – how did that happen? We spent a chunk of last week hanging out with Grandma S, as she was on “Hannah Duty”, she helped me round the house and looked after you when I needed to take a nap. Apparently you lay in the moses basket next to the living room window while Grandma worked on Daddy’s computer.

On Friday, you, Daddy and I went to introduce you to Great Grandma Dot and Auntie Sue. It was really warm on Friday and by the time we were in the car heading towards Great Grandma’s house, we got stuck in rush hour (although it started at 4pm instead!) and a mammoth queue up to the Black Cat Roundabout. Great Grandma and Auntie Sue were both super excited to meet you although in the end we couldn’t stay as long as we would have liked to because of getting caught in traffic on the way.

When we got home you were hot and bothered. Daddy was on the case though. He carried your car seat straight into the kitchen, scooped you up out of the car seat, handed you to me and grabbed a muslin that had been used as a sunshade in the car. He soaked the muslin under the cold kitchen tap and wrapped the muslin round you. I then carried you upstairs to our bedroom which was cooler than the other rooms in the house and put you on the bed. We sat talking to you but didn’t touch you because each time we held you, you were getting warmer again.

This weekend was the River Festival so Daddy went to work Friday afternoon to get everything set up and we didn’t see him again until late Sunday night. I know you can’t tell us but I think you missed him. You wasn’t like you could be naughty and play up but I think combine missing Daddy and the heat and you weren’t a happy bunny at all.

Over the weekend Nanny J came to stay with us and Auntie Rae stopped by on Sunday afternoon. We spent a lot of time not doing anything due to the heat. I did think about going to the festival especially to see Daddy but it was too far for me to walk and I can’t drive at the moment.

On Saturday we went to the Post Natal Clinic so that you and I could both get checked over and made sure we were okay. You have maintained your weight so we could be discharged from the Midwife’s care on that part but because your cord is still attached (although it’s not looking that nice now!) we can’t be discharged completely. On the other hand my wound is healing and is clean, along with various other bits and pieces they have to check off means that I have been discharged. The health visitor is coming today so we’ll see how that goes.

Yesterday, you met your Great Grandad and your Great Auntie Alison. In the evening, you came to a Holiday Club meeting. You got to meet your Auntie-to-Be – she loved holding you and giving you a cuddle. Her Mum also held you. Apparently she’s your Great Aunt in Law but that sure sounds complicated!!

Anyway, apart from the heat disrupting all our sleep you’ve been well behaved lol. Daddy keeps trying to teach you to stick out your tongue, sometimes it works but I’m not sure if you just licking your lips or trying to tell us you’re hungry or you actually sticking out your tongue (but it keeps Daddy out of trouble and he thinks it’s working!)

Jaxon Albert - Two Weeks Old

Love you Little One

Mummy

{Gratitude}

Gratitude

After writing my post in Saturday, I decided to add it as a regular. So here I am with a nursing baby attempting to blog one handed. See Mamas multitask.

To My Mum you get a mention again. You came round last Sunday to look after me while Chris went to church to show off Jaxon and introduce him. You got me done breakfast and moved the washing round. You brought a load of washing and helped me put it away after I sorted it while sat on the bed.

To our next set of visitors, thank you for the goodies and offers of help and meals. They are gratefully appreciated.

To Jaxon, how is it some nights (so far) you sleep so well thank you :) (and you didn’t wake up during the thunderstorm – how did that work??)

To Joy our washing machine broke down this week and you offered to do some washing for us. Thank you!!!

To Helen thank you for sending us a message about your supermarket trip and asking if we needed anything. Thank you :)

To Our Sidekick, you were poorly and even then when you went downstairs to get a drink you knocked on the nursery door to see if I needed anything while you were downstairs – something was wrong with that picture I should have been taking care of you. I left a note for you in the kitchen with a bar of your favourite chocolate. My note just said “This is for you, have a good 1/2 day at school”, on the bottom you’d added “Thank you” – way to make my heart explode hehe.

To Chris, after my excursion to the supermarket I had a nap and gained a headache even though I’d been drinking water like it was going out of fashion! At 3:30am there was a thunderstorm and I was awake for it which didn’t help the headache. At about 5am ish when Jaxon woke up and I thought he needed a feed, I tried to feed him but was really struggling because my head was banging so hard. You got up and offered to take him downstairs and feed him some of the expressed milk. When you got downstairs and wrapped him in a blanket to keep him warm as downstairs the house was cooler than upstairs, he fell asleep in your arms before you could feed him so you brought him back upstairs to bed. Thank you for looking after him so that I could go back to sleep and try and shake the headache.

When the actual morning rolled round, thank you for putting Jaxon in the wrap so he could curl up next to one of us and attempt to sleep through the storm. I had been holding him but each time I would move he’d unsettle.
Thank you for walking to the shop in the ran to get some milk so that you and I could both have breakfast. Thank you for your enterprising nature (if that’s the right words!) when you put your waterproof on and wrapped it round Jaxon as well so that you could both walk to the shop and stay dry.

Jaxon as the Very Hungry Caterpillar

Chris taking Jaxon to the shop

Small Achievements That Seem Like Mountains

In case this is the first post you’ve read of mine, I had a C-Section just over a week ago. Part of the recovery is to get up and get moving but not to over do it. You’re only allowed to lift your baby for a while and nothing else (a challenge when you now live with three boys but thankfully my Mum had been on hand to help and a few friends have done washing or things like that for us too).

They are sort of silly and they aren’t massive achievements like running a PB at a running competition, climbing Ben Nevis or the Tri Peaks for charity or lifting your PB at Crossfit Training but to me they do make a difference.

On Monday we went to the Children’s Centre to see the midwife, her day wasn’t going to plan and when given the option to get out of the house for a bit after 2 and a bit days in hospital and two days pretty much in the confines of the house i was jumping at the chance to get out lol. We were sat in the reception and she was running a little late, and of course at that moment in time, Jaxon decided he needed a feed – well there’s only one thing for it.

Achievement Number One: Breastfeeding in a public place (that’s not a hospital).

Jaxon was getting more and more worked up as he was too hot in the onesie he was in but he was also hungry so needed food too. With some assistance from my Mum we stripped him off so he was just in his nappy and then got him into a short sleeved onesie. He cooled down instantly and just seemed happier – he latched on pretty much straight away after that – but I was bricking it! First time in public I was glad my Mum was there to sort of hold my hand – I think if I’d have been on my own I’d have gone and found somewhere to hide!

Achievement Number Two: Breastfeed at my Grandparents house

Yesterday after registering Jaxon’s birth we went to my Grandma’s house to wish her Happy Birthday and drop off cards and presents. She was excited that she got to see Jaxon on her birthday too. While we were there Jaxon was getting hungry and needed a feed. I asked could I go sit in the spare room to feed him, rather than everyone evacuating the living room for me. Well before I could get everything together my Grandad had gone into the kitchen, Grandma had gone to get something from another room and we were left to feed in one of the comfy chairs. When I was settled (and had a muslin to cover up) everyone came back in and we continued to chat about Grandma’s birthday and who had been asking after Jaxon and I amongst other things.

Jaxon, are you comfy?

Achievement Number Three: Walk to the supermarket and back (and manage to remember all the shopping before leaving the supermarket!)

Yesterday afternoon I decided that I was going to walk to the supermarket. It’s about a mile round trip but given the last week it was a goal that I could achieve and my Mum was on hand to come rescue me if I really couldn’t manage to get myself home or if there was a problem. By the looks of it including walking round the store it took me an hour. It certainly didn’t feel like it took that long but I guess that was good that I wasn’t rushing it.

Getting Healthy – Part 3

Getting Healthy

Back last summer I decided it was finally about time that I did something about my weight. I was overweight, “comfortably” in a UK Size 16 heading for an 18. Deciding that if I was going to be a Mum I wanted to be the kind of Mum who could keep up with her kids rather than sitting on the sidelines and not taking part because of her health when it was something I could solve.

My Weight Graph

I joined Slimming World in August and started there. One of my old school friends was a consultant at the time so I decided to give her group a go – it would be nice to see a friendly face. Turned out that near enough the same week I signed up another friend of mine signed up to another group in Bedford so I ended up changing so we could cheer each other on.

At the end of October I found out I was pregnant and although without really trying by the middle of November I had achieved my Club 10 award (Club 10 is when you’ve lost 10% of your starting weight). I had a chat to Lorraine who was our consultant and got some information about Slimming World’s eating plans for Pregnant or Breastfeeding ladies.

I decided that I would keep going while I was pregnant as it gave me a guide so that I didn’t end up putting on tons of extra weight that I didn’t need. By Christmas, I had lost a stone and a half in total since August but at that point I was 12 weeks pregnant, I’d continue to keep going and check in with Lorraine and my midwife if my weigh dropped too much or I had concerns.

I continued to attend and on Tuesday morning I went to group to weigh in following Jaxon’s birth. I queued up and sorted my money as I owed a back week for not being at group last week (I couldn’t even go to the loo without assistance let alone make it to group!!) and then queued to be weighed.

I explained to the lady as I got on the scales “it’ll probably have a freak out but the numbers are correct”. I’m not entirely sure she heard me, she looked up at me then back at the display….

“According to this you’ve lost over a stone…….??????”

“Yes I know. That is correct” (pause) “I was pregnant and I gave birth last week”

“OH!! Congratulations and well done!”

It was quite comical especially as I think it messed up their numbers like the total lost in the group this week and things like that.

In total, since having Jaxon I’ve lost 1 stone and 6 pounds. That’s 20lbs gone just by giving birth and all the associated bits that go with it. That’s pretty much reset my weight to how I was at Christmas.

I did the maths and this leaves 18 pounds to my target. It’s five weeks to my brother’s wedding so I’d like to try and lose 10 of that 18 by then.

Before you panic, I’m not going to rush it and make myself ill. I am most definitely going to take my time, on Tuesday evening Chris and I walked to the supermarket and back which isn’t that far (according to Google Maps it’s a round trip of about a mile – that’s excluding the walking around the store too) but actually I think it was too far at least for now. By the time we were walking back home, my back was starting to hurt and I was feeling rather hot.

I have plans to get out the buggy and walk where I can rather than driving. For the next six (well five now) weeks I actually can’t drive because of the spinal injections I had which means that I’m going to be walking more and catching buses when I am more mobile and need to.

Do you have any goals you’re working towards at the moment?

{Jaxon’s Birth Story} – Dear Blueberry – Week 1

Dear Blueberry

Dear Blueberry,

But hang on, you’re not Blueberry now, you have a proper name. So…. hello Jaxon.

Today, you’re 1 Week Old. Already??? Haha.

Jaxon is 1 Week Old

You arrived into the world last Wednesday at short notice – I guess technically I got up in the morning and by bedtime I was holding you in my arms.

But it didn’t start that easily…..here’s the story…..

On Saturday when my contractions were getting closer together and I thought “this is it” I started noting down what was happening. Mainly it was things like what medication I’d taken and when I had last eaten/drunk and what had been for either of those along with other TMI bits just in case I was asked when we arrived at hospital (especially if I couldn’t answer and Chris had to answer on my behalf).

How close together are we now?
(This picture is from the app on my phone. How I ended up with contractions less than two minutes apart I’m not sure but baby was coming!!)

Well this is the attempt at some form of birth story, I started forming the notes into actual sentences on Friday when we arrived home from the hospital. My in-laws were in town collecting Chris’s sister so they popped by to meet their first grandchild and delivery some goodies.

Anyway so while it’s still fairly fresh, I understand my notes and my brain hasn’t been totally stolen by a new baby I thought I’d get our birth story down on paper so to speak.

It would later become clear why my labour had started so early and why things weren’t happening in the way it was on TV or in the books. But early labour started and stopped for five days. By medical terms you’re not actually in active labour until you’re 2-3cm dilated – which means that although it sounds like I had a really long labour it actually only probably started around Tuesday morning or possibly even sometime Wednesday. (So if you’re an expectant Momma or trying don’t panic!!)

On Saturday evening I got in the bath, I felt more relaxed so got out the bath but that was when things got fun, my stomach started contracting and after 3 or 4 I was sort of like “okay this is it then”.

Except it wasn’t it REALLY wasn’t.

I had back ache and contractions on and off pretty much all the way through the night, this was the first time this week that I’d see sunrise, or at least the sky getting lighter! By about 3am my contractions were about 6-8 minutes apart and I needed advice, clearly they weren’t close enough together to go into delivery but I was in pain and discomfort and I wasn’t sure that the paracetamol I was taking was doing anything.

At 4:20 I spoke to the delivery suite at the hospital. Nope they were too far apart and there wasn’t really anything that could be done other than paracetamol and a warm bath. Okay this makes me sound like a wimp and I probably was given what was supposed to follow but I was frustrated, tired and seriously achy so that wasn’t helping with my mood.

By 6:30am (Sunday) I gave up with going back to sleep and decided to potter round some more. Chris woke up and got me some breakfast. It ended up that I had chocolate spread sandwiches, half an apple and a glass of water but there was also Lucozade in case I needed a quicker boost of energy.

Breakfast of sorts in bed

By 8am, I had been in the bath again and the contractions were slowing. I got dressed and walked to the petrol station at the supermarket. I was still contracting so sleeping was a challenge but needed to get out of the house. I got home and they’d almost completely stopped so got back into bed. I woke up around midday having slept most of the morning. Turned out the boys hadn’t gone to church either, Chris wanted to make sure he was on hand for me and Our Sidekick had an upset stomach so stayed in bed too. (Funny maybe this was God’s way of preparing us all for the crazy that was about to kick off)

Around 4pm the contractions started again. I took some painkillers and carried on doing what I could. My Mum and Dad came at about 11pm as the contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart and we thought they were getting closer so wanted them on hand in case they needed to look after Our Sidekick. Mum and I went for a walk round the block but this slowed the contractions down instead of speeding them up.

We spoke to delivery at about 2am who said that the contractions weren’t close enough and as I would figure out as I could answer all the questions without pausing for a contraction they weren’t painful enough to be admitted.

That was Sunday, Roll on Monday…

By Monday evening, my tether was getting shorter – I like to think I’m pretty chilled but I was getting worked up. It wasn’t just the sleep I was missing but the aching muscles too. Everything hurt and I just felt rubbish. Not physically sick but sore. The best way I can describe it is when you’ve been out in the garden and get up the following morning and discover just how many muscles there are in your back!

The contractions started up again around 2pm so by 7pm I’d taken paracetamol and had two baths. I broke down in tears and we decided to call delivery. Even if they couldn’t take me in we hoped they could at least give me something to try whether that was stronger pain meds or some other form of self treatment. Mum and Dad arrived around 11pm to look after Our Sidekick and we all got settled in to the idea they I might not be home that night.

There was a delay to be seen as I picked the busiest night lol. I was hooked up to the blood pressure cuff and then the baby monitor. The midwife examined me, the result was – baby isn’t coming now, you’re 1cm dilated.

The midwife was able to prescribe me co codamol and I was sent home again. It was a little disheartening but the wonder of co codamol was that it made me sleep like a log and by the morning I had a new “lease of life” to carry on with what was going on.

We got home, played musical chairs/beds and that was Monday.

I slept on and off through the night but it was blocks of sleep rather than dozing in and out like Saturday night.

Going for a walk. There's a random tide line of sorts in the grass

Dosed up on co codamol, I got dressed and walked to mum’s house. I was getting a bit stir crazy and figured that rather than pacing the living room I’d walk to Mum’s and then walk back. She was working from home so I’m sure if I’d have felt like I couldn’t manage the walk she’d have ran me round in the car and if I’d been heading towards labour she’d have taken me to the hospital. I had a couple of odd twinges but nothing that was going to send a baby out.

In comparison Tuesday was the calm before the storm.

By Wednesday morning I was feeling sore as my muscles had now been contracting on and off for four days. I sat in front of the computer and commented on blogs, played on Facebook and bits and pieces to try and keep my mind off things.

The contractions started again around 10am so every time one came I’d get off the computer chair and potter round the living room. When it was finished I’d sit down again. By lunchtime, the contractions had moved and rather than just being in my back or like a bad cramp I could feel it in my hips too. They were more painful than they had been over the last few days.

I had an appointment to see the midwife at about 3pm so I kept track of my contractions and by the time I went to my appointment they were around 6 minutes apart, again still too far apart to go to delivery but at least if I saw her she might be able to give me an update. She had a feel of my tummy and thought that baby might be back to back as various markers she was looking for weren’t in the right places. She had a listen to baby’s heart (when she found it) and that was fine so she didn’t have any concerns. She explained about not booking my induction yet as I was dilated and she thought that baby could come soon. She explained what to do anyway so if baby hadn’t arrived by 41w5d then I’d be induced.

Following my appointment Chris and I went to get lunch. Technically it was almost afternoon tea but actually in hindsight it was a good idea.

By 7pm I was on a lot of pain and my hips were really hurting, to the extent that I spend most of the 2-3 hours we were home standing up because I couldn’t get up from sitting but also struggled to then sit down from standing. Chris was amazing and spent the couple of hours rubbing my back and getting me drinks and things like that.

While I was on the phone to delivery Chris told Our Sidekick to get his stuff ready as he was going to go and stay with my parents overnight and would go to school from their house in the morning. I got a contraction while I was on the phone and kept apologising to the midwife because I couldn’t answer her questions, I think Chris might have had a sore shoulder because I’d gone from resting my head against his arm to almost head butting his arm.

She thought I was in active labour and I should head to the hospital. That was easier said that done, I managed to fold myself into the passenger seat of the car but every bump in the road magnified contractions and was making me feel really ill.

When we got to the hospital, Chris dropped me off at the maternity wing and went to park the car. By the time I was on the ward and waiting to be seen my contractions had started to slow down so I was worried they were going to send me home again. I had a lovely student midwife called Carla and a midwife called Helen. They both checked me out and were concerned about a few factors so Helen did some extra exams and went to speak to the doctor.

Chris arrived and was sat in the parents room next door. He was texting me through the wall and heard that I was 4cm dilated and could hear the midwife and doctor discussing about doing a scan. He texted to ask if he could come in so I asked Carla to go get him so he didn’t miss it.

The doctor arrived and did the ultrasound. Although Jaxon had been the right up for a normal delivery for most of the last few weeks at some point he’d turned and so he was presenting as a breech – I think the spot on my tummy that I thought was his bottom actually turned out to be his head!

After chatting to the doctor and offered various choices it was decided that he was going to be delivered by elective C Section. We were going to meet Jaxon before bedtime and I wasn’t being sent home. How exciting!!

At this point most people would freak out, I thought I would have freaked out but I was actually really calm. Chris and I had a discussion and I explained where I thought I stood on it. He then called my Mum and had a chat with her while Carla did some extra tests on me. He then handed me the phone and I chatted to mum (again this would be a freak out moment and it wasn’t). I’m sure either way she would had respected my choice but something about knowing my mum was on my side made me feel reassured that I was making the better/right decision.

Over the next two hours we chatted to various people including the surgeon and were asked lots of questions about injections (Vitamin K) and did we know if you were a girl or a boy and did you have a name. The surgeon went through the risks and possible complications like if it was bad I might have to have a hysterectomy and because of the spinal injection there was a tiny risk of temporary or permanent paralysis and things like that. (Again no freaking out here).

We were moved from triage to another room then we got ready to go to surgery. I had to put on a gown Carla helped me get out of my clothes and into my gown. (By the end of the three days we were in hospital, any kind of dignity had gone lol).

Good job I don't mind needles. First on many injections or blood tests!!

I met various other people and was asked lots of questions but they also talked me through what was going to happen. Laura the midwife came to check me over before we went to surgery and told me that Chris could go put on scrubs and come in with me. She stayed with me nearly the whole time or was in the room. Rosie the anaesthetist’s assistant was super friendly and kept me calm especially when the anaesthetist was putting the local injection in my back followed by the spinal injection to make my legs go numb. Her and Chris kept me talking and both held my hands while the injections were going in. I was doing okay but one made me jump and whimper.

Chris and I talked about names while I had the injections and while the surgery team got ready around us. There was a group of like 6 or 7 people and they’d all got a job and were all so friendly. Even the surgeon stopped at the end of surgery and took time to say hello to Jaxon.

My friend once told me how she’d decided what she was going to call her daughter then when she saw her after delivery she changed her mind. Chris and I had been talking about names on and off since we found out that we were having a baby but it was only when I was having my injections that we were like “we need to make a choice!”. It was sort of funny. Once Jaxon had been delivered I saw a brief flash of him as he was taken from the surgeon to the baby bed behind my head to be checked over. He started crying and then settled. Chris came and showed him to me and somehow I knew without even speaking to Chris that you were Jaxon.

Chris was armed with his phone and snapped lots of pictures. We were wheeled into recovery and Jaxon, Chris and I got to hang out and get to know each other. Laura looked after us and helped me to start feeding Jaxon. It was a sort of strange sensation at first but then it was completely normal and natural (so why the hooha about feeding in public??)

We spent the next two days ish in hospital. On Thursday after school, my Mum and Dad brought Our Sidekick to meet Jaxon. He was so excited, he brought Jaxon a teddy and some other goodies.

On Friday morning I was seen by various different people who checked me and Jaxon over and got us ready to go home. We got the all clear to go home at 3pm but had to wait to seen by one other person – at 7pm we were still waiting for that person to sign us off properly. I think she was rushed off her feet so I was trying to be understanding but I wanted to put my pjams back on, I wanted to curl up in my own bed and wanted to take you home and get you settled.
I wrote about it on Saturday but to reinterate I am grateful beyond belief for the midwifery team at Bedford Hospital. They were all super helpful and caring.

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Chris in his scrubs - channeling McDreamy or Clooney?

Snapped this one of Chris just before having my injections, so it was a challenge given all the wires and tubes attached to me but it came out okay. McDreamy or Clooney? Hehe. Then again maybe that depends on your “generation”.

Currently…14th July

Currently...

Currently… image from rukristin

Watching:
Baby!! He does funny things like twitching in his sleep and clapping his hands together. Watching his little face as he dreams.

Reading:
Notes and notes and notes from the midwifes and other professionals. Also started reading the New Testament from the beginning when feeding. Got most of Matthew Chapter 1 done yesterday.

Listening:
To the cute noises that Jaxon makes while he sleeps. Listening to his breathing too.

Making:
Erm, not a lot lol. I moved my bag upstairs but haven’t touched my crochet since Wednesday. I’ve starting writing thank you letters, I guess that’s making something. Also have been taking heaps of photos.

Feeling:
Tired but so happy. Had a meltdown on Saturday but all in all I’m positive. I spoke to the breastfeeding helpline yesterday and they gave me some good tips that seem to be working.

Planning:
Not a lot – it tends to be what we’re doing that day or the next day. Lots of friends want to meet Jaxon. The in laws came on Friday. The Fairies came on Saturday before dashing off to dance class. V, Bex and Bex’s little boy popped in on their way past. The in laws and my Grandparents came by yesterday. There’s a few people who are possibly coming by in the week to visit us but we’ll play that day by day depending on how things are going.

Loving:
The snuggles I get with Jaxon. The way he holds his hands when I breastfeed (or attempt to!). The way that Chris scoops him up and cares for him. He pulls faces and makes funny noises when Jaxon starts to get grumpy. I just can’t wait until Jaxon can respond and laugh back at Daddy’s silly antics! (Not that I’m wishing the time away – clearly I want to enjoy each stage as it comes.

Welcome to the World Little One!

I have a whole heap to write about what happened and how it happened and when it happened but for now.

Welcome to the world Blueberry!! Haha no not going to be actually called Blueberry, this little one is called Jaxon Albert Byng Johnson. He was born on Wednesday and weighed in at 9lb 14.5oz by C Section (see things to write about!!)

Jaxon Albert Byng Johnson

For now I wrote a list of things I am grateful for, I had a little meltdown last night and needed to regroup so started this list….

My Mum and Dad for being on standby since Saturday to help us out with Our Sidekick when I went into labour (and the practice attempts it seems!). My Dad for attempting to sleep at our house in one to the Poang chairs, I am pretty sure you got zero sleep that night and somehow still went to work the next day. You both came and rescued us the following night when I had a meltdown, Mum fell asleep in our bed and was out like a light, I don’t think Dad slept at all that night and again went to work the next day!! (Superstar!)

My Mum for popping into town for an item of clothing that I sort of needed to be able to come home and delivering it to the hospital too. For offering to come to sit with me this morning so Chris can go to church for a little while and take Jaxon for a quick visit too.

Our Sidekick, you were out the front playing with your friend when I got home from the hospital you dropped what you were doing to help me out of the car, when I pottered into the living room and then turned round to get the post you told me off and sent me upstairs – I think you followed me up the stairs to make sure that I made it there in one piece. You sat with me while we ate dinner so that I wasn’t alone while Chris ate dinner with Jaxon, his parents and sister.

The NHS – people do complain, I know I have and I know I did on Friday when we were waiting to be discharged but I’ll tell you something, Bedford Hospital Midwifery team were amazing this week looking after Jaxon and I. There’s the two student midwifes who were so good, if they didn’t know the answer or wasn’t 100% sure they’d go and find out the information and come back. To the anaesthetist’s assistant who walked me through how my injection was going to be done and then talked me through how to sit as it was being done. To the surgeon who brought Jaxon into the world and took the time to say hello to Jaxon. To Ruth, Laura, Liz and all the other midwifes who came to check on me, take my obs, check me over and answer questions amongst other things.

The lovely friends who have been round to see Jaxon, Chris and I, thank you for coming, thank you for your flying visits and understanding that I wanted to see you but couldn’t cope for long periods of time (being a mummy is exhausting sometimes lol). Thank you for the presents you have brought us and the offers of help if I need them. My favourite was “even if it’s just so you can take a shower I’ll come cuddle Jaxon”.

To “Auntie” Kewey thank you for sending me silly pictures when I was post-meltdown, for pictures of your celebratory tea and the Blueberry muffins eaten in celebration of Jaxon’s arrival and for the encouraging words sent via text to me. I know you had a pooey week and at some points could have probably shut the world out and just sulked but you were there and amazing even from nearly a hundred miles away!!!

(Okay, blueberry muffins might be needed……Erm, whoever visits next do you fancy going via the supermarket?)

And last but no means least……

To Chris, firstly I love you, I don’t think I’ve said it in the last few days between all the crazy that’s been happening. You’ve done a heap of stuff and I’ve probably missed some but here is the short list that I remember….. loaded the dishwasher and the washing machine, you made dinner (which we then ate nearly an hour later cos of a feeding hiccup), you’ve changed more nappies in the last four days than I have (admittedly I’ve done the feeds which don’t work so well if you try!), gotten up with Jaxon when I was so out of it I didn’t know he was even awake (bad Momma!), slept/rested your eyes in an uncomfy hospital chair on Wednesday night so that I could recover and we could both take care of Jaxon together, you walked to the supermarket at 10pm on Saturday night to get some bits after I had a meltdown, I love your enterprising nature when they didn’t have quite the product we were looking for – the alternative worked wonders and at a fraction of the price (there clearly is money in maternity products because as soon as you market something as maternity you can increase the price!!)

Dear Blueberry – 41 Weeks

Dear Blueberry

Dear Blueberry,

So I’m starting this post after getting in from my Midwife’s appointment. Your heart was pumping away and you were still 2/5 engaged. It was a different midwife again as my “normal” one was in meetings or had a day off. I think I’m going to point this out to my “normal” midwife as there seems to be a lack of communication between my appointments when there’s different midwifes.

After the appointment I walked to meet Daddy who was waiting in the car and then we collected Our Sidekick from school. I came home and did some knitting and read various bits on Facebook including this story. I hope we make it to the hospital in time. Then again if it was that far I think Daddy would be on the phone to J to have her talk him through what to do as he’d be super calm and collected. Knowing some of the stuff he deals with on a daily basis at work and how calm he’s been when I’m having a crisis in the last few weeks he’s been remarkably calm and held it together while I’m freaking out!

The midwife counted the dates differently to the others but actually having looked at my notes it’s possible the app on my phone is counting differently and so I’ve been counting differently by mistake – oops!

The last few days have been quite exhausting and stressing me out, I keep trying to be calm but it’s hard work lol. I’m hoping you arrive soon,

I walked to Grandma’s house yesterday to try and encourage you along a bit. While I was saying goodbye to Grandma, one of her neighbours walked past and asked when I was due, I popped into the shop to get a milkshake (and some other goodies) and was asked by a random stranger in the shop when was I due, I said that I was a week overdue and he said “Don’t worry baby will be here soon” – it was a little random but it was a nice thought and I’m sure his heart was in the right place.

I’m now at home and sat writing this post, Our Sidekick and Daddy are chatting about all sorts of things, some bits are a bit serious but we’re in our little bubble listening to Layla by Eric Clapton and before I was singing Hotel California by The Eagles. Grandpa, you and me can listen to them loud when you get here, Grandpa and I used to put Hotel California on in the car – it was on a cassette and we’d get to the end of the song, flip over the tape and fast forward it so that it could be flipped over again and start again.

I think Daddy wants his computer back so I better go find something else to do – I think he’s encouraging me to go for a walk to the supermarket later to see if we can encourage you along with some more walking – it seems to Grandma’s and back isn’t far enough.

But Dear Blueberry, Auntie Kewey keeps joking that you don’t want to come out into the world because I’m so full of love, but we’d really like to meet you now – like really really really really like to meet you.

I hope we see you soon.

Love Mummy